Ben Turner

How is God communicating with me today?

Since very early last year I feel like God has been speaking to me very closely, I’ve had a genuine sense of communication and awareness of God’s presence from day to day.
I am a young man and for the past several years I have suffered from a chronic mental health condition. At the end of 2015 I had a set back, a return of (psychotic) symptoms. When I had recovered ( was back on medication) and feeling more stable again at the beginning of 2016 I started reading some books on Christian spirituality and contemplative prayer. Halfway through one of the first books that I read which was about the fundamental meaning of the contemplative tradition I genuinely felt this comforting presence and completely loving and gentle voice reassuring me saying “its ok, I’ve got you” and giving me this true sense of peace. Now I know that this might sound concerning coming from someone who has suffered from a bad and very debilitating mental health condition for a long time. But as a result of having suffered I know how much better this presence feels than the stuff I have experienced in the past, I know what bad feels like and I know how much indescribably better and more true this feels. Reading Genesis 3:8 where God addresses Adam and Eve and they hide themselves “amongst the trees of the garden” a couple of idioms came to mind- “seeing the wood for the trees” and emerging “out of the woods”. I feel as if I am now starting to see more clearly and I hope to continue to learn how to welcome “the voice of the God walking in the garden in the cool of the day.”