Yes, Charles you are absolutely right. The self in relation with the social other is the “false self” in the language of the contemplative tradition. The “true self” is the self in union with God, which is not at all limiting, but rather the key to the “fullness of life” that Jesus speaks of. This “true self” is detached from the rivalries, the desire for approval and the desiring according to the desires of the social other. Thomas Merton among other contemporary contemplative writers explains this wonderfully well. I highly recommend Simone Weil, in her chapter on idolatry in “Gravity and Grace”. Her referral to the “Great Beast” is of course, the world, or the social other. She is very Platonic! But detachment from the “false self” is counter intuitive in our culture of radical individualism. However, in Girardian language we are interdividual rather than individual.
